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Posts tagged ‘Mental Health’

Anxiety Attacks? Seriously?

Well, I think I am having panic attacks or anxiety attacks or whatever you want to call them……great…….what else……

We had an incident at the theatre this weekend that resulted in name calling and hurt feelings…..and that seemed to catapult me into this thing…..I wasn’t even sure WHAT it was…..but the next day I started thinking about what happened then it snowballed into “what do these people even KNOW about pain and suffering” then before I know it I am a hysterical mess wondering how I even got to this point in my life…..and how unfair all this is…..and how we go to these appointments and everyone in the waiting room is old….except us…..and that makes it all the more apparent how “I am not even supposed to be here!” (“Clerks” reference!)

I know I am getting wound up because on Thursday they are going to start pumping poison into my husband in order to save his life…..we are at the starting gate once again to another difficult chapter in this cancer saga……so Paul and I are both confident that is the source……

So I spent Memorial Day with a slight Valium buzz…….I hate taking them……but Paul insists that is what they are there for……but it makes me feel weak….and a little doped up……but I shouldn’t fight it so much….it’s better that bursting out in tears for no apparent reason…..

And I have a lot of anger…..that’s in there too…..that became VERY apparent this weekend……..I mean, I am pretty pissed…..but at what? ……..God? no……..I have “been there and done that” and THAT isn’t it at all….heck, He CARRIES me through this so that’s not it…..the circumstances of my life? Well I guess…….I mean….I feel like such a baby…..crying about how unfair all this is and how I just wish I could wake UP from this nightmare…….

……but I never do…….

But they don’t last very long…….and I shake it off and move on……but I feel a little better knowing what they are……that they have a name…….and that I am not going crazy……

Anxiety attacks and their symptoms

Anxiety attacks, known as panic attacks in mental health circles, ­are episodes of intense panic or fear. Anxiety attacks usually occur suddenly and without warning. Sometimes there’s an obvious trigger— getting stuck in an elevator, for example, or thinking about the big speech you’re giving in a few hours—but in other cases, the attacks come out of the blue.

Anxiety attacks usually peak within ten minutes, and they rarely last more than a half hour. But during that short time, the terror can be so severe that you feel as if you’re about to die or totally lose control. The physical symptoms are themselves so frightening that many people believe they’re having a heart attack. After an anxiety attack is over, you may be worried about having another one, particularly in a public place where help isn’t available or you can’t easily escape.

Symptoms of an anxiety attack include:

  • Surge of overwhelming panic
  • Feeling of losing control or going crazy
  • Heart palpitations or chest pain
  • Feeling like you’re going to pass out
  • Trouble breathing or choking sensation
  • Hyperventilation
  • Hot flashes or chills
  • Trembling or shaking
  • Nausea or stomach cramps
  • Feeling detached or unreal
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Why Are These Things HAPPENING????

It is the question so many of us ask when things don’t go our way…..we lose a job or your car window gets busted out or your husband gets diagnosed with cancer…….it’s so EASY to ask why these things are happening….like we are entitled to an easy, stress and drama free life…..

Sorry kids…..it just doesn’t work that way……

I have heard this message over and over the last several years courtesy of my wonderful Pastor and it’s taken 40 (something) years to finally figure it out…..God isn’t “doing this” to you…..He just doesn’t work that way… ….it’s so easy to slip into the “woe is me” and “why is God doing this to me”  mode when things go sideways……

I know I used to do it…..I spent a lot of time in my early 20’s pretty pissed off at Him…….but I grew up and learned to see things in a different way…..that we ALL have trials and tribulations and it’s not going to stop…..it’s US that needs to change….change how we look at it all……

A friend of mine posted this article and that is really what prompted this post. It’s titled “What to do, what to think when crisis arrives”  I especially liked the quote at the end…

Perhaps the best way to meet the crises of our lives is to admit them and their accompanying feelings, spend time in genuine reflection, and be painfully honest with ourselves.

I know when we are hit with some big news I go into about a 24-48 hour funk……I may cry all day or lay in my tub for 5 hours but that is just the processing taking place……and that is my time of reflection…..I allow myself to feel it all and I take that time to express all my fears and sadness and I can give it all away……and He takes it every time……and then I can let it go…… and that’s the hardest part…..letting it GO……sure, it comes back and rears its ugly head again so you give it away….AGAIN….and again and again and again…..whatever it takes……

It’s taken a lot of years and a lot of tears to make it here……it’s what works for me…….but spending my life moping around and complaining how hard my life is isn’t the answer…….for me or anyone really……what makes me so special that I should be exempt from the tragedies of life? Saint or Sinner….. none of us makes it out of here without trials and tribulations……and it’s learning how to deal with it that makes your life wonderful or unbearable…….

make it wonderful…….

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